Week 14: Revision of web writing principles

Recapping Main Ideas

Recalling what has been said about how users read on the Web (they don’t, really), it is important for Web writing to be
Concise
Objective
Scannable

We have learnt the need to:
 reduce the number of words for Web text
 use objective tone and language, and avoid marketese to achieve credibility
 write effective microcontent (headings, sub-headings, titles, links, etc)
 use effective layout and structure such as inverted pyramid, lists and chunking
A study by Nielsen measures the effect of improved web writing in a usability study (Jakob Nielsen's Alertbox for October 1, 1997):

The study used five different versions of the same website (same basic information; different wording; same site navigation). Users were asked to perform the same tasks with the different sites.

As shown below, usability was higher for the concise version (58% better) and for the scannable version (47% better). And when we combined three ideas for improved writing style into a single site, the result was amazing with 124% better usability.


Promotional writing using the "marketese" found on many commercial websites (control version):

Nebraska is filled with internationally recognized attractions that draw large crowds of people every year, without fail. In 1996, some of the most popular places were Fort Robinson State Park (355,000 visitors), Scotts Bluff National Monument (132,166), Arbor Lodge State Historical Park & Museum (100,000), Carhenge (86,598), Stuhr Museum of the Prairie Pioneer (60,002), and Buffalo Bill Ranch State Historical Park (28,446).


Concise text with about half the word count as the control condition:

In 1996, six of the best-attended attractions in Nebraska were Fort Robinson State Park, Scotts Bluff National Monument, Arbor Lodge State Historical Park & Museum, Carhenge, Stuhr Museum of the Prairie Pioneer, and Buffalo Bill Ranch State Historical Park.


Scannable layout using the same text as the control condition in a layout that facilitated scanning:

Nebraska is filled with internationally recognized attractions that draw large crowds of people every year, without fail. In 1996, some of the most popular places were:
• Fort Robinson State Park (355,000 visitors)
• Scotts Bluff National Monument (132,166)
• Arbor Lodge State Historical Park & Museum (100,000)
• Carhenge (86,598)
• Stuhr Museum of the Prairie Pioneer (60,002)
• Buffalo Bill Ranch State Historical Park (28,446).

Objective language using neutral rather than subjective, boastful, or exaggerated language (otherwise the same as the control condition:

Nebraska has several attractions. In 1996, some of the most-visited places were Fort Robinson State Park (355,000 visitors), Scotts Bluff National Monument (132,166), Arbor Lodge State Historical Park & Museum (100,000), Carhenge (86,598), Stuhr Museum of the Prairie Pioneer (60,002), and Buffalo Bill Ranch State Historical Park (28,446).


Combined version using all three improvements in writing style together: concise, scannable, and objective:

In 1996, six of the most-visited places in Nebraska were:
• Fort Robinson State Park
• Scotts Bluff National Monument
• Arbor Lodge State Historical Park & Museum
• Carhenge
• Stuhr Museum of the Prairie Pioneer
• Buffalo Bill Ranch State Historical Park


The following are some activities that would help you to apply some of the principles of effective Web writing that you have learnt.

Activity:

Rewrite the following, based on the principles of effective Web writing. Work on them in groups and be prepared to share your versions:

1.


Site Survey
The following questionnaire is designed to provide us with information that will help us improve the site and make it more relevant to our customers’ requirements. Select your answers from the drop-down menu below. The questionnaire will only take 2 – 3 minutes to complete. At the bottom of the form, you may choose to append your name, address and telephone number. Respondents who leave their aforementioned details may be contacted at some point in the future to participate in a survey to help us improve the relevance and usefulness of this site. Any comments or concerns may be directed to our Customer Service Officer.


Suggested Response:

This 2-3 minute questionnaire will help us to improve the site and its relevance to our customers’ requirements. We may contact respondents for a follow-up survey. Please contact our Customer Service Officers if you have further queries/comments.



2.

FAQ: How do I enroll and pay for an online course once I have taken my placement test?

Whether you want to do one course or many, you can simply click on the enroll button which appears at the top of every Onlinecourses.com web page. Once you have clicked the enroll button, you can do several things, if you want. You can confirm that all the courses that you want to do are listed on the enrolment form. You should enter billing information and account details. You should enter your address for the delivery of the printed study notes. You can then click ‘enrol me now’ to move to the next stage. At that point, the transaction between you and Onlinecourses.com will be passed to our billing partners, Secure Billings. Secure Billings will safely handle the actual payment transaction on our behalf.


Suggested Reponse


Note that FAQs need to include all the necessary information so that the reader does not need to call you to check on details, etc.


3.

If floppy disks are exchanged with other staff, or picked up and used from common work areas, please be informed that there might be viruses on the disks. The same is true if disks are received from people whose work may have been copied from the Internet, or if the software gets loaded on the disk after being downloaded from unknown sites.

Suggested response:

Your floppy disks may contain viruses if:
 you exchange them with other staff;
 pick them up from common work areas;
 get them from people whose work may have been copied from the Internet; and/or
 get them from people who download software from unknown sites.

Remember to replace the passive voice with the active voice.


4. Web Writing Task

Before:

When sending us back a product, please use the original packaging if you still have it. For a refund, the product sent back must be in good condition, including any accompanying disks, books and batteries. As stated earlier, we offer a money-back guarantee for 30 days from the time you buy the product. To return a product, please use the Return Address Sticker that came with the original package, so we can credit your account, or call us to get the correct address and code. You can reach us at 1800-62252456.


After:

Suggested response:

We offer a money-back guarantee for 30 days from the time you receive the product. For a refund, you must:

1. Return the product in good condition, including any accompanying disks, books and batteries. (Please use the original box if you still have it.)

2. Use the Return Address Sticker that came with the original package, so we can credit your account. Or call us at 1800-62252456 for the correct address and code.